I Am Virtually Nonexistant

So those of you who read this most likely found this blog through my Twitter....which no longer exists. I deleted it, along with my Tumblr and many other websites that I formerly used to procrastinate, and honestly I've never felt more free. I've already mentioned once here on this blog about how I "don't want to put too much of myself out here on the internet" and how I don't think it's necessary to pretend to be friends with people who I barely know at all, so I don't need to be redundant here and rant about that again. But my point remains the same, and I don't want to be a part of that sort of immature society, who doesn't know how to communicate without a keyboard or camera-phone.

I honestly don't see why people want to tie themselves down to the internet so much. I mean, it's a wonderful tool for research; I've learned endless amounts of interesting things from websites like Youtube (the Vlogbrothers on their new shows SciShow and Crashcourse mostly) and StumbleUpon. I've also been much more up to date on the news thanks to access to SourceFed, Phil DeFranco, and CNN Student News. I have enjoyed entertainment from Youtube (can you tell I'm a fan?) and Symphony of Science, as well as Memebase and of course other blogs, which I have also mentioned here before. Don't get me wrong, I love the internet. I just don't want to let it rule my life.

Back when I was still a Twit, I had a deadly routine. I'd get home from school, fire up the trusty laptop, open up Firefox intending the check email and start on homework, and end up automatically typing Twitter into my address bar. I'd then waste about 30 minutes browsing through the silly things that people tweeted during my school day, none of which were important at all, as well as checking out the pages of the people I was closest friends with. I would follow all of the 'interesting' links (from people whom I trusted of course; there is a lot of Twitter scamming that goes on these days), look at all of the Twitpics, participate in discussions, and overall just waste my time. What made it worse was the fact that I also had Twitter on my phone, so I was connected 24/7. Sometimes, I'd end up having 2 conversations with people at the same time, one over texting and one over Twitter. It all felt so fake. It was fake. I cringe to think about all of the time I wasted on websites like that, all of the hours I could have been catching up on sleep or preparing a little bit more for auditions and such. I feel like I missed out on part of my summer as well, because I was too busy tweeting about the good times I was having to actually enjoy them.

I was also constantly worried about censorship. On Twitter and Tumblr, people can be anonymous or easily conceal their identities. You have no idea who sees what you type. I have no idea who is reading this right now in fact. You could be my mother, or my English teacher, or a college professor or potential employer checking out my internet profile before you hire me. On Twitter, it was always so easy just to tweet on a whim, and there were many times when I was overreacting over personal situations which didn't belong on the internet at all and yet, boom, there was my personal life, in under 140 characters for all to see. Later I'd feel guilty and stupid and delete those posts, but of course, once something is on the internet, it never goes away. I am ashamed of that.

I was actually in the process of 'tidying up' my Twitter page when the annihilation of my virtual self occurred. I realized how much of myself was there on that public webpage, despite the discrepancy of the individual tweets themselves. Anyone could learn almost anything about me, simply by reading a few hundred of them. I realized how scary it was, and how I was tired of worrying about whether people thought my tweets were funny or interesting, or what my darned Klout score was. What is that anyway? Who is Klout, to say how interesting it thinks I am? So it was quick and painless. I hit deactivate. And since then, I haven't looked back. My phone is quieter, I get my work done more efficiently, and despite feeling isolated from everyone else socially, I am relieved that I don't have to hear about every little occurrence in everyone's lives. Sure, I might not be the first to know if so-and-so broke up or if there is a marathon of America's Next Top Model on or if #TeamInsomnia is trending in Australia, but that's fine with me. I have my own life and my own goals to worry about. Who needs those kinds of distractions anyway?

Also, if not having a Facebook means that I get to own an Invisibility Cloak, that's totally cool with me.

Now don't worry, I'm not going to delete this blog. It seems to be a really healthy outlet for me to get all of my brain clutter every once in a while. I actually wish I had time to blog more. And I'm not leaving Youtube either. I still love the internet- just after the real work is over with.