Audience-Induced Dual Personality

So I've noticed, especially since I've been back at school, that I unintentionally act differently when I'm around different friends. I'm not the only one who does this, I've noticed my friends' personalities change based on who is present as well.

For example, around my best friend that I've known since first grade, I can be open and not worry about whether I'm being judged because we know everything about each other and nothing will ever break up our friendship. Around her, I'm a follower, most of the time. We do alot of relaxing and talking and making bracelets and listening to classic rock and singing in the car on the way to the mall to share a box of delicious honey chicken. We run pointless errands just for somewhere to go, go to extremes just to properly embarrass each other, and don't mind helping with the less-exciting tasks, like cleanup after a Halloween party (ohmygod I love Halloween so much I can't wait!) or organizing rooms or school shopping.

When I'm around @MegginLovett (or Twitter in general), I'm a full-fledged 24/7 slap-things-with-a-fish Harry Potter-loving musical-singing overenthusiastic and occasionally crazy Nerdfighter. When I'm with my family, I tend to be quieter, and logical, and in general just calmer and less exciting. With my karate friends, I am powerful, experienced, mysterious, looked up to; whatever a disciplined karate teacher should be. With some friends, I'm stoic and listen passively rather than talk, and with some I'm the center of attention, cracking jokes and laughing constantly.

All of those traits are me, I'm never being fake or pretending. Different people just bring out different personality traits in me. But it makes me wonder, since I am so comfortable with who I am, why can't I always be all of those things? Why can't one person see every side of me? Why do I sometimes hide my nerdiness in a fruitless attempt to fit in, and other times I am outrageously flamboyant? Why are our true selves only known by ourselves?

Books Read: 27

Grenade

I hold a grenade.

A grenade of truths.

Full of secrets, of love, lies, and laziness.

Held by anyone else,

This would be a time-bomb;

A weapon to be used against those who made it.

But in my hand, it nestles,

Its pin securely in.

I know what's inside it,

Foresee the destruction it would cause

If ignited.

I must maintain the balance.

Is there not enough chaos already?

I padlock the pin, put the bomb in a safe.

Six feet under, it rests in an unmarked tomb.

Giving new meaning to

"I'll take it to the grave".

Your secrets are safe with me.

Books Read: 26

Summer of '11

Tomorrow, I shall return to the horrors of four classes a day, thirty minutes for lunch on a hard plastic stool, and the agonizing glares from the students who believe themselves to be better than me. I will march proudly into the place where my every outfit is criticized, my behavior is analyzed, and every word that passes my lips is twisted by gossiping numbskulls into things I never intended. I will dive headfirst into the sea of peer pressure, but I will swim against the current. Who says I have to follow them in their stupidity, and make the same mistakes as they do? I have my own tide to flow by.

Before I am totally occupied with quizzes, tests, and homework, I just wanted to take a minute to reflect on this summer.

This is the summer that I spent making bracelets, not only for myself, but for my friends and a wonderful group of people that I had the fortune to meet. This is the summer during which we used a sock-covered chimes mallet to play a bass drum during graduation, and afterward wore party hats. This was the first summer I've been on Twitter, and the first time I've shared my experiences via Blogger. This is the summer I wore a bathing suit in public, on more than one occasion. This is the summer I tried fried tomatoes, put hot sauce on spaghetti, and devoured more popcorn than should be legal.

This is the summer of dozens of sleepovers, with grandparents, cousins, and friends. This is the summer of the last Harry Potter movie, when the tears didn't stop until I heard about Pottermore, and realized that this is not the end. This is the summer of movies, and this is the summer I spent a huge part of without electricity, running water, and air conditioning (all at the same time!).

This is the summer I spent at the river, because my dad was finally off from work for the whole entire summer. This is the summer I learned how to wakeboard, from a science-loving sculpture professor who looks sortof like Johnny Depp. This is the summer of bike-riding, fist-pumping, fish-catching, car-driving, pier-jumping, earth-quaking, hurricaning, twig-raking, kitten-saving, nerdfighting AWESOMENESS.

This is, byfar, the best summer I have ever had. Maybe someday, another summer will bypass this one, and I will get to say that again. But I really don't see how it can get any better than this.

So I'm leaving you now, my friends, to pack up my backpack and prepare myself for the unknown craziness to come. Tears are literally pouring down my face as I type this, because I already miss doing all of these things that I love. Thank you for being here with me and reading about my insanity, and best wishes to any of you who must also return to school tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have some interesting occurrences to tell you all about in the near future. In the meantime, DFTBA!

Books Read: 25

I Hate Public Pools

Hello Blog Buddies!

I have finally returned after surviving a whole week without electricity due to Hurricane Irene. I hope you enjoyed my last BACTIA posts (thank goodness for Blogger's scheduled posting...), and I'd like to apologize for the fact that, because my power was out and I couldn't update it, my Book Counter has been inaccurate for the last 9 days. Anyway, here is a poem I wrote after I was forced to spend the day at the pool while we waited for our electricity to be restored...

Arriving, toting toys, towels, and coolers.

Seven dollars to bring a friend, what?!

People gaze up from a heat-induced stupor,

Watching us as we search for a seat.

Obnoxious kids splash at our ankles.

Why can't they just leave us alone?

Aromas sting our senses as we spread our towels

On cheap rubber lounge chairs sticky with sweat.

Smells of chlorine

And sunscreen

And crappy snackbar food.

The smells of vanity and overindulgence.

Constant discomfort as we try to tan,

The air is too hot, too humid.

The water is too cold, too crowded.

The feeling that everyone's watching you,

Even if they aren't.

Noticing your every self-conscious flaw.

"When can we leave?"

But we want to be tan.

We've joined in the fad of destroying skin cells.

So we lay there and sweat all our happiness out,

Wasting our freedom, our summer,

And the time we could be spending having fun.

Books Read: 24

I Am a Hopeless Fangirl

Ever since I officially joined Nerdfighteria last summer, I have wanted to go to a Nerdfighter gathering and meet John and Hank Green and see how nerdy they actually are off of the internet. Ever since I started watching Mythbusters back in middle school, I have wanted to watch Adam, Jamie, Kari, Grant, and Tory blow something up in person. Ever since I plunged into the young adult section of my local library and discovered Maureen Johnson, Scott Westerfeld, and David Levithan, I have wanted to tell them in real life how brilliant I think their books are.

Whenever I imaging these real-life scenarios, I imagine myself as being calm, cool, and collected, saying something witty and intelligent, impressing those incredible people and actually having them remember me, instead of just belonging to their endless seas of fans. I don't picture myself being clumsy, blushing, squealing, nearly crying, grinning for like three hours straight, and in general just plain embarrassing myself.

However, all of those embarrassing things happened anyway, simply as a result of these:

So I'm prettymuch doomed to embarrassment if I ever do get the chance to meet them. :D

Books Read: 19